Lovely

Its easier when nobody knows. It's safe. It's special and it's exciting. Most of all there is no one to judge our actions. It's like we don't even have to be held accountable for sharing our souls freely. Connecting our secret thoughts pure and impure. Binding our lust for life. All with no pages 

But what happens if Nobody knows the pain I feel. Nobody knows that I miss the the addiction of hanging on your every work. Not even you. This joy is forbidden to be known by everyone.
Whats worse is that when nobody knows, its easy to pretend that it neven meant anything thing. It is easy to move to something safe. Something accepted. Something popular. It is easy to exist in a crowd.

But if nobody knows does it make my feelings true. If nobody knows is this emotion sure to leave me. I have to protect this warmth in my being. I have to protect this calmness in my spirit. I have to protect me.

Since nobody knows, I am sure that protecting me means losing you and that will leave me with very real tears that all can see. 

Albert Bailey

For many, Easter represents the resurrection. A rebirth. A fresh start.

For me it has a double meaning. It's a rebirth and an ending. Easter was the day that I was awaken, by the voice of my stepmother, whom i was visiting telling me that my Papa had died. My Pops was gone and I was 700 miles away from all that I loved. My Nana, mother, brother and sister. Years later I can still feel that pain of losing my rock, my ace, my teacher, my mentor, my friend, my Papa.

My last words to him was, "I'll see you when I get back and we can do lunch" he responded Don't worry about me I'll be home when you get back. But he wasn't. He wasn't alright. He left me 2 days later.

It has been a true life journey of resurrection for me since that fateful morning. I have struggled, I have achieved, I have excelled and I have failed. But one thing that is a constant is that I have tried to be the man, my Papa would want me to be.

There are times when I know he would be disappointed, there are times where I know he would be proud. But all in all, he would be satisfied. If I know my Papa, like I know my Papa he would say good job Damon, know can you go to Wendy's for me. That man saved my life. He taught me how to be a man, a father and a husband by watching him love and respect every man. He taught me everything my father didn't, couldn't and didn't want to. Thanks to my Papa I was not a fatherless son.

I haven't had the words, desire or the ability to write about my Papa since he died. Time is a lie, it heals no wounds, it numbs no pain. When I close my eyes it' s there. Every breath reminds me to teach my boys to be the image of him.

So for me Easter is a glimpse of life. Life is a series of events. Some good and some bad. But everyday is a day that we can start new. We can leave the drama in the past. We can leave the yesterdays alone. We don't have to carry all that mess that we carry. We don't.

So this Easter as every Easter until the day I see you again Papa. I want to say thank you, I want to say I love you more than you will every know. That I miss you beyond words. That I am trying to be the Damon you wanted me to be. That I need you to still guide me in my dreams. That I need you to protect me. That I will do my best and never give up. That I will share you legacy, share our stories and make sure everyone knows I was raised by one of the greatest men EVER..

Stay rested Papa

Agressive and Bold

I usually don't beat people in the head with scripture or even God. But I was reading Ephesians chapter 3 verse 12 (King James) and it said: In whom because of our faith we dare to have boldness and confidence of free access. I read that passage over and over again and put it into context of my owl life.

I don't think there is anything in the bible that says we should live afraid, shy or fearful. So if we aren't meant to live with those things than obviously we are live in privilege. I mean we have been given the gift and ability of living with free of fear. But if that's the case, why in the world are we all walking around scared to death. It's like we are walking on eggshells waiting for something. We don't know what it is but we are waiting. We don't know when it comes, but we wait.

Why? Why are we wondering about what may go wrong. We have been gifted the ability to live free. I don't know about anyone else. But I'm not living my life waisting time. I'm hungry to make a difference. But that's just me.

There are so many people that are so afraid of making a mistake that they don't do anything. What if I mess up? What if it doesn't work,? What if I fall flat? The what ifs turn into fear. Guess what? Fear stops progress. When there is no progress all those things we fear find us, because we got stuck.

I always right for me and hope that others don't mind reading. But being aggressive and bold has been an issue for me. I never was taught how to be a leader, how to be an entrepreneur or how to go out in the cold world and make it work for me. I was taught a lot of things. But when I stepped out on my own. The learning curve smacked me dead in the face.

So I am dedicating the next 7 days to living life with aggression and boldness. One day at a time. One decision at a time. One conversation at a time. What do I have to fear? Failure, people laughing at me. Looking stupid? I've already been there and done that by not making any decisions.

The art of overreacting!

Have you ever noticed that whenever we are dealing with bad news, a difficult person or adversity better known as drama. We have a habit of constantly reacting in a certain way. I know it may be just me, but have you ever reacted to a situation and once that initial burst of adrenal aka frustration aka fear aka anger subsided you felt like an idiot.

When you get in that overreaction state, you mobilize your ability to deal with the situation in front of you. Ultimately keeping us from getting the results we need. By focusing on the small stuff, we forget the big picture and it's usually the big picture that holds the results we need. By overreacting we isolate ourselves and annoy the world around us. It is that world around us that holds solutions. especially when we are at our weakest point.

Living life as a constant emergency is how so many of us live. That's just exhausting. Always running around like we need to have answers for everything. Like were just so busy solving the problems in our lives. Personally I think some of us need the drama to feel alive but that's another article in itself. Basically our overreacting gets in the way our ourselves and positive change.

When we live life like everything is a big deal, there will always be some form of dram. there will always be a hurdle somewhere. So if you always wonder why you can't find peace, start with not treating everything like it is a big deal. But lets be honest! Peace can only be made when we solve our problems. It's how we deal with problems that give us the skills to deal with them. When we respond to life with ease problems seem that once seemed so big suddenly seem manageable.

Living a softer life can bring new perspectives. It is those perspectives that make us look at life for what it is. A beautiful blessing filled with fortunate and unfortunate events.

I'M TRYING! I'M TRYING!

I'm trying.

Those 2 words have to be the greatest excuses for failure that nobody talks about. Maybe nobody talks about them because we all use them. I have come to believe that those two words are masters of the 5 finger discount. There the worlds greatest boosters of promise. Forget Ocean's 11-13. Those words are the super d-duper thieve squad.

I'M TRYING...I'M TRYING

The other day I was talking to a business owner who was struggling making money. He hadn't been able to do the right networking to market his business. So we talk and I let him know that I have somebody for him to meet. He was so excited. "Damon thanks man, this is what I need, I'm ready, this is all I need." So I make the call and set up a meeting right then and there. Then, I say to him, "Let's go!" His response is he will try and meet me there! I responded, "My man, you'll try. You are out of ideas, you have no plan and your dreams are slipping away and you will try.

How many of us do that. How many off us want and need something but when a potential solution is in our face, we only try to make it happen.

I'm not trying to call anyone out or piss people off, but many of us use I'll try as a prelude to our moaning and growing. It's the starter kit to the whoa is me!

Think f it like this. If your thirsty and there is a glass of water right in front of you, will you try or will you just drink it. I don't know about you but I'm not dying of thirst when I know there is water out there.

We control our destiny. But it starts with doing. I believe that if we do what we can to the best of our ability our world, our god and our universe will do the rest. We just have to do.

Miracles happen when we move forward. I wish that opportunity just knocked on it's own. Or circumstances just miraculously changed for the better, but it doesn't happen that way. But it will happen when we do. So stop trying and start doing. If you fail, your still be better off than when you were only trying.