Have you ever noticed that whenever we are dealing with bad news, a difficult person or adversity better known as drama. We have a habit of constantly reacting in a certain way. I know it may be just me, but have you ever reacted to a situation and once that initial burst of adrenal aka frustration aka fear aka anger subsided you felt like an idiot.
When you get in that overreaction state, you mobilize your ability to deal with the situation in front of you. Ultimately keeping us from getting the results we need. By focusing on the small stuff, we forget the big picture and it's usually the big picture that holds the results we need. By overreacting we isolate ourselves and annoy the world around us. It is that world around us that holds solutions. especially when we are at our weakest point.
Living life as a constant emergency is how so many of us live. That's just exhausting. Always running around like we need to have answers for everything. Like were just so busy solving the problems in our lives. Personally I think some of us need the drama to feel alive but that's another article in itself. Basically our overreacting gets in the way our ourselves and positive change.
When we live life like everything is a big deal, there will always be some form of dram. there will always be a hurdle somewhere. So if you always wonder why you can't find peace, start with not treating everything like it is a big deal. But lets be honest! Peace can only be made when we solve our problems. It's how we deal with problems that give us the skills to deal with them. When we respond to life with ease problems seem that once seemed so big suddenly seem manageable.
Living a softer life can bring new perspectives. It is those perspectives that make us look at life for what it is. A beautiful blessing filled with fortunate and unfortunate events.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
I'M TRYING! I'M TRYING!
I'm trying.
Those 2 words have to be the greatest excuses for failure that nobody talks about. Maybe nobody talks about them because we all use them. I have come to believe that those two words are masters of the 5 finger discount. There the worlds greatest boosters of promise. Forget Ocean's 11-13. Those words are the super d-duper thieve squad.
I'M TRYING...I'M TRYING
The other day I was talking to a business owner who was struggling making money. He hadn't been able to do the right networking to market his business. So we talk and I let him know that I have somebody for him to meet. He was so excited. "Damon thanks man, this is what I need, I'm ready, this is all I need." So I make the call and set up a meeting right then and there. Then, I say to him, "Let's go!" His response is he will try and meet me there! I responded, "My man, you'll try. You are out of ideas, you have no plan and your dreams are slipping away and you will try.
How many of us do that. How many off us want and need something but when a potential solution is in our face, we only try to make it happen.
I'm not trying to call anyone out or piss people off, but many of us use I'll try as a prelude to our moaning and growing. It's the starter kit to the whoa is me!
Think f it like this. If your thirsty and there is a glass of water right in front of you, will you try or will you just drink it. I don't know about you but I'm not dying of thirst when I know there is water out there.
We control our destiny. But it starts with doing. I believe that if we do what we can to the best of our ability our world, our god and our universe will do the rest. We just have to do.
Miracles happen when we move forward. I wish that opportunity just knocked on it's own. Or circumstances just miraculously changed for the better, but it doesn't happen that way. But it will happen when we do. So stop trying and start doing. If you fail, your still be better off than when you were only trying.
Those 2 words have to be the greatest excuses for failure that nobody talks about. Maybe nobody talks about them because we all use them. I have come to believe that those two words are masters of the 5 finger discount. There the worlds greatest boosters of promise. Forget Ocean's 11-13. Those words are the super d-duper thieve squad.
I'M TRYING...I'M TRYING
The other day I was talking to a business owner who was struggling making money. He hadn't been able to do the right networking to market his business. So we talk and I let him know that I have somebody for him to meet. He was so excited. "Damon thanks man, this is what I need, I'm ready, this is all I need." So I make the call and set up a meeting right then and there. Then, I say to him, "Let's go!" His response is he will try and meet me there! I responded, "My man, you'll try. You are out of ideas, you have no plan and your dreams are slipping away and you will try.
How many of us do that. How many off us want and need something but when a potential solution is in our face, we only try to make it happen.
I'm not trying to call anyone out or piss people off, but many of us use I'll try as a prelude to our moaning and growing. It's the starter kit to the whoa is me!
Think f it like this. If your thirsty and there is a glass of water right in front of you, will you try or will you just drink it. I don't know about you but I'm not dying of thirst when I know there is water out there.
We control our destiny. But it starts with doing. I believe that if we do what we can to the best of our ability our world, our god and our universe will do the rest. We just have to do.
Miracles happen when we move forward. I wish that opportunity just knocked on it's own. Or circumstances just miraculously changed for the better, but it doesn't happen that way. But it will happen when we do. So stop trying and start doing. If you fail, your still be better off than when you were only trying.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
You vs You
When was the last time you told yourself how great you are? When was the last time you told yourself your an idiot for making a mistake?
In order to begin to experience joy and success, we first have to acknowledge our greatness. We have to compliment us. It's simple, we have all heard the saying, "If you don't love yourself you will never be able to love someone else.
Being self defeating is so simple that many become addicted to it. If we focus on the negative, than negativity is what we bring to us. We were not created to go against ourselves.
Imagine your taking a stroll in the park and you see a man just standing there beating himself up. I mean literally beating himself up. A left, a right, a uppercup and a right hook all to his own body. You would think that man was a hot mess and high tail it out of there.
But when we focus on whats wrong, that is exactly what were doing. The only difference is it's easier to hide.
The moment we stop comparing ourselves to others and the world doors of change will begin to open. new friendships, new joys, new peace and new ideas. If you acknowledge one good thing even in defeat, you grow and get the skills you need to claim victory.
The details of success are in the failings. But you can only see them by thinking the best. By focusing on whats wrong we are literally punching ourselves down. When you do that you forget the victories.
Being confident and positive doesn't create opportunities it only allows us to see them.
In order to begin to experience joy and success, we first have to acknowledge our greatness. We have to compliment us. It's simple, we have all heard the saying, "If you don't love yourself you will never be able to love someone else.
Being self defeating is so simple that many become addicted to it. If we focus on the negative, than negativity is what we bring to us. We were not created to go against ourselves.
Imagine your taking a stroll in the park and you see a man just standing there beating himself up. I mean literally beating himself up. A left, a right, a uppercup and a right hook all to his own body. You would think that man was a hot mess and high tail it out of there.
But when we focus on whats wrong, that is exactly what were doing. The only difference is it's easier to hide.
The moment we stop comparing ourselves to others and the world doors of change will begin to open. new friendships, new joys, new peace and new ideas. If you acknowledge one good thing even in defeat, you grow and get the skills you need to claim victory.
The details of success are in the failings. But you can only see them by thinking the best. By focusing on whats wrong we are literally punching ourselves down. When you do that you forget the victories.
Being confident and positive doesn't create opportunities it only allows us to see them.
Friday, January 1, 2010
The Break Up
Hey strife, can we talk minute? I'm sorry you had to find out this way, but I have been seeing serenity on the low. I can't hide the peace in my heart anymore. Every time I close my eyes I see her. I think I'm in love. I know you worked hard to stay in my life. I'm sorry but your free to see someone else. Don't act like you haven't being seeing others anyway.
I used to think I was the only one. But I got smart. All the drama I felt with money, relationships and work I knew that was you. I just didn't know how to leave. There was always something that brought me back to you. I guess I got used to you being in my life. It was hard to walk away from the only thing I knew.
You know we have been going through it for awhile. Did you really think we would be together.I tried to tell you I was done.
Serenity, shes different. She showed me life. She opened my eyes to a new way of being. She actually wants me to live a life of abundance. You just wanted me for yourself. I'm not saying she is perfect. Serenity is demanding. She wants me to give my all to the relationship. She expects nothing but great things from me. That's new to me. I know its hard to hear all this, but I just want to be honest.
Strife you were such a part of my life that I owe you a proper goodbye. So goodbye, good rittens and you can kiss my ass.
If you try to contact me, like I know you will! I will be ready! I'm prayed up! I am dedicated! I'm loved! I have Serenity!
Goodbye
Strife
I used to think I was the only one. But I got smart. All the drama I felt with money, relationships and work I knew that was you. I just didn't know how to leave. There was always something that brought me back to you. I guess I got used to you being in my life. It was hard to walk away from the only thing I knew.
You know we have been going through it for awhile. Did you really think we would be together.I tried to tell you I was done.
Serenity, shes different. She showed me life. She opened my eyes to a new way of being. She actually wants me to live a life of abundance. You just wanted me for yourself. I'm not saying she is perfect. Serenity is demanding. She wants me to give my all to the relationship. She expects nothing but great things from me. That's new to me. I know its hard to hear all this, but I just want to be honest.
Strife you were such a part of my life that I owe you a proper goodbye. So goodbye, good rittens and you can kiss my ass.
If you try to contact me, like I know you will! I will be ready! I'm prayed up! I am dedicated! I'm loved! I have Serenity!
Goodbye
Strife
Happy New You
This year may have been hard, miserable, difficult or challenging, I'm sure there are many negative adjectives that can describe 2009. Personally I had a year of transition and gratitude.
Thinking about the last day of the year is emotional. So many things were me. So many things were you. So many things could have been you. So many things could have been me.
I could have had no shoes to walk in, I could have had to go to bed hungry last night, I could have been sleeping outside in the cold, I could have lived this year without love, I could have lived this year without the love of my children. But I didn't So things were good.
So even if you think your wings have been broken and you have spent the year in the rain things could have been worse. If they could have been worse that means they can get better. Today marks not only the end of the year but it represents a new tomorrow. A brighter tomorrow. So tell the storm to pass. Even it's a hurricane it doesn't last. That's the good thing about storms, they have no choice but to move on. So tell the storms in your life to pass! Command your sunlight! Take a stand for a better tomorrow.
Standing on solid ground begins with claiming your freedom from worry. Freedom from bills, freedom from broken relationships, freedom from drugs and freedom from our negative thoughts.
We all face trouble in life. that's how it is. Life is a series of events. Some good. Some bad. We have to keep walking in the direction we want to live in. When it feels like the mountain is to high to climb, you must walk. Get a stick if you have too, but walk. every step is ordered by a higher power than ourselves. Our universe works to make those steps easier if we claim it.
When your vision is obscured and you can't see which direction you should go in, close your mind. Cleanse yourself from the thoughts that have been poisoned by the world around us and walk. Get a guide dog if you have too, but walk you must. If you begin to struggle to take that first steps because of the tears, your headed in the right direction!
You may have lost a job. You may have lost a loved one. You may have lost a home. You may have hurt someone you love. You may have gotten hurt by someone you love.
I know what it's like. I've lived with the eviction notice tape still on my door. I've had sleepless nights worrying if people will see the pain inside. I've lost the most important people in my life. I've cried in the midnight hour scared for tomorrow. I have even hurt the ones who love me the most. So these aren't words. But were still standing.
You may not know your own power today. But I promise you, when you begin to believe that abundance is near. That happiness is around the corner. That peace is a arms length away. You will obtain everything you want. Just hang on!
Repeat after me. I will trust. I will believe. I will live. I will give my heart the peace it needs to heal. I will give my future the faith it deserves to manifest. I will live a life of purpose. I will be the best me I can be everyday.
Happy New Year
Thinking about the last day of the year is emotional. So many things were me. So many things were you. So many things could have been you. So many things could have been me.
I could have had no shoes to walk in, I could have had to go to bed hungry last night, I could have been sleeping outside in the cold, I could have lived this year without love, I could have lived this year without the love of my children. But I didn't So things were good.
So even if you think your wings have been broken and you have spent the year in the rain things could have been worse. If they could have been worse that means they can get better. Today marks not only the end of the year but it represents a new tomorrow. A brighter tomorrow. So tell the storm to pass. Even it's a hurricane it doesn't last. That's the good thing about storms, they have no choice but to move on. So tell the storms in your life to pass! Command your sunlight! Take a stand for a better tomorrow.
Standing on solid ground begins with claiming your freedom from worry. Freedom from bills, freedom from broken relationships, freedom from drugs and freedom from our negative thoughts.
We all face trouble in life. that's how it is. Life is a series of events. Some good. Some bad. We have to keep walking in the direction we want to live in. When it feels like the mountain is to high to climb, you must walk. Get a stick if you have too, but walk. every step is ordered by a higher power than ourselves. Our universe works to make those steps easier if we claim it.
When your vision is obscured and you can't see which direction you should go in, close your mind. Cleanse yourself from the thoughts that have been poisoned by the world around us and walk. Get a guide dog if you have too, but walk you must. If you begin to struggle to take that first steps because of the tears, your headed in the right direction!
You may have lost a job. You may have lost a loved one. You may have lost a home. You may have hurt someone you love. You may have gotten hurt by someone you love.
I know what it's like. I've lived with the eviction notice tape still on my door. I've had sleepless nights worrying if people will see the pain inside. I've lost the most important people in my life. I've cried in the midnight hour scared for tomorrow. I have even hurt the ones who love me the most. So these aren't words. But were still standing.
You may not know your own power today. But I promise you, when you begin to believe that abundance is near. That happiness is around the corner. That peace is a arms length away. You will obtain everything you want. Just hang on!
Repeat after me. I will trust. I will believe. I will live. I will give my heart the peace it needs to heal. I will give my future the faith it deserves to manifest. I will live a life of purpose. I will be the best me I can be everyday.
Happy New Year
Daddy vs Doggy
Does cheating on your child's mom make you a bad parent?
The dynamics of relationships are tricky and at time treacherous. Although there are times in which the beauty of what can be are realized. Children are gifts and are cherished cargo in life's journey.
But what happens when that journey takes a sudden turn. What happens when one parent forgets to tell the other one that they have changed course. The reasons why one cheats are as numerous as the amount of times it happens in relationships.
But with this major lapse in judgement comes great consequences. Including the possibility of the systematic breakdown of your home.
When a parent makes a decision to look outside the home to see if the grass is greener on the other side their committment to the family is questioned immediately. For many even the love of the children is put in doubt.
How could you do this to them?
what about the children?
Why would you put our family at risk?
Do you care about anyone besides yourself?
Every relationship is different. Every infidelity is sparked by circumstances unique to that couple. But the love of a child is universal. Providing financial, physical, spiritual, medical and educational support to children is done out of love and done without conditions.
These are responsibilities that should be carried out regardless of the current state of your relationship. But when you put the fabric of your children's home in jeopardy, you must acknowledge that it gets a little tricky. You have to be prepared to hear the doubts of your commitment to your family. However loving parents are only human and mistakes are made.
There are times we forget to pay the electric bill and the lights get shut off. What about the times where we forgot to send the lunch money to school and our kid had to eat peanut butter and jelly for the last week. What if we ate ourselves in to bad health and obesity and get diagnosed chronic illness.
All of these are issues caused by lapse ion judgements, Are they irresponsible. Of course. But do they constitute that we can called a bad parent. No.
So the bottom line is this. You can be a dog, the dirtiest dog on the face of the earth and you can be a good parent. But regardless it's your job to protect your children. But don't get stupid, because it is also the job of the person you're hurting to protect the children as well.
Letter to My Incarcerated Brotha
What up Homie,
I know it’s been awhile since I last wrote. Things have been busy for your man, but thats no excuse. I’m just sending you some love because I know your getting ready to come home soon. It’s been awhile since you’ve been out in these streets. We missed you out here. Things have changed so much since you have been gone. But we can talk about that when I see you. It’s going to be great catching up with you.
But for today I just want to offer you some encouragement. The last time we talked you were talking about your plans for when you got out. Picking up a trade and finding a job sounds like a good plan. I am here if you need anything to make that plan a reality. But to get started on there is one thing you will need. That’s peace. I don’t mean peace between you and other people like you have beef even though that’s part of it as well, I mean inner peace. Peace with your situation. Peace with where you have been, peace with where you want to go.
You see my brotha inner peace is the foundation of accomplishments. It is the key to your abundance and prosperity. Why? That’s an easy one. Because peace allows us to live in the future and not in the past. It allows our mind to rest and no longer focus on the things we can’t control.
We talk all the time about the good ol days. Sometimes strolling down memory lane is a good thing. You had me cracking up talking about that time the steering fell of that grey Honda hatchback you had. How dark was that tint anyway? But regardless if our memories make us laugh or cry, living in the past is a waste of time. We are a therapy culture. What that means is that it is acceptable for us to think that our future is determined by our past. Think about this my man, biographies are made about the past, never the future. So don’t let your biography define your future. Your still here. After it all your still here! That’s a blessing my dude.
When you get out sign up for that program, get that business license, pick up that trade but before you do that and while you are doing that. Get peace in your spirit. If you don’t you might put your future at risk. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in you 100% but I don’t believe in this world. The world is why your locked down know. The world isn’t made to give us anything. We give to the world. So let’s get peace my dude and lets get life.
Well you know me I got to get back to work, but let me know what you think about the whole peace concept and keep your head up, stay strong and keep that focus on tomorrow. People still have love for you out here.
Your brotha in the struggle
D
Thank You
Some of the best experiences and joys in my life have come from relationships I have built with the guys. As a matter of fact, I would rather say family. True we may be dysfunctional at times but where a unique family. Were a family that has been built with trust, commitment and accountability. It hasn’t been easy. A life with a lot of little brothers, big brothers, uncles and the crazy cousin can be challenging. But I have loved every minute of this ride.
I have serviced nearly 200 men in my career that has spanned nearly a decade. Men of all ages have walked through my doors, called me on my cell phone, sat down for a beer ( I mean coffee) and have been a passenger as we went for a quite ride just to talk. Route 95 has seen some great breakthroughs. We have had some great times.
As a New Year approaches I wanted to give thanks to all of you who allowed me to be apart of your family. It has truly been a blessing.
I know many look to me for answers, insight and guidance. But truth be told. I get so much moiré from them than I could ever give back. From my first client back at the Urban League of RI in 1996 I have been blessed. My career, my passion, my joy and my fulfillment as a person comes from you guys.
So as 2010 arrives I just want to thank some of you guys that have meant so much to me. I feel obligated to thank some of my favorite people.
Jason Harris
“Fat Derrick" King
Tyson “Mr. Blaxx" Donald
Ralphie "Krazee Rae" Rodriguez
Ollie Harvey
Bobby Green
Mike Mcyntre
Tammy Sampson
Kaylene Peoples
Shayne “Smitty" Smith
Anthony "Dante" Mabray
Melvin Kent
Justin Mccormick
I am sending a special thank you to all of you. I may not always be right, I may not always have the answers, and I may not always give the best advice. But you guys have always listened and valued my teachings and the direction and worked to give you. For that I am grateful. So once again I would like to thank a few of my favorite people for allowing me to be apart of their journey in achieving extraordinary life.
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